No matter who you are, you need two kinds of friends in your life. The first kind is one you can call on when something good happens in your life, and you need someone who will be as excited for you as you are.
Not a fake excitement veiling envy, but a true and real excitement. You need someone who will actually be more excited for you than she would be if whatever had happened, had happened to them. The second kind of friend is somebody you can call on when things go horribly wrong—when your life is on the line and you only have one phone call.
What kind of friend are you going to be?
This comes up today, because I was thinking about a friend back in the UK, we’ve known one another since 1992. Yes, 30+ years. But I’m not so sure if we have any more years on the clock because, for the very first time, I haven’t receive the usual Christmas card in the post, this year (yet).
To say I was unsettled is an understatement. Not because I felt slighted, but because my first thought was for my friend, and worrying that something has happened to her. After all, neither of us is getting any younger and with COVID you never know. Also, with each passing year, I ask myself will there be another one because, shit happens.
Now I’m fretting, because, thousands of miles apart, there’s no one answering my emails, and I don’t have a working phone number. I haven’t been able to contact her family or the one other friend I know we have in common. Already we’re in mid December and the more time passes, the more I think it’s just one of those things. Too much time has passed by and the fact is, maybe, just maybe, we’ve just drifted apart.
It’s hard loosing a friend to that ‘drift‘ and something I will just have to accept, if true. But, without knowing, I’m somewhat in limbo.
Damn the Canadian postal strike.
When this happens, I think it’s worth a reach out. I don’t know, but I send my friends a text message and just say “This happened and I thought of you. I hope you’re doing well and I miss you.” You don’t have to let friendship drift unless that relationship doesn’t suit you anymore!
I did try to text her and email her, but the number I have doesn’t seem to work anymore. Which is another reason I’m concerned.
I hope they’re okay!!!!
Kim, I’m probably over panicking for nothing. But yes, I hope everything’s okay too.
That’s worrisome when you try to call and can’t get through! I hope you are able to get in touch and it’s just that they’ve changed phones or something.
Especially when it’s an international call and you are charged for no connection, and the number is no longer in service. I admit I usually email, but they too were being bounced. It’s all a little upsetting and I hope I get some answers after Christmas.
That’s worrisome. I hope that your friend is well and that you manage to make contact.
So do I, David, so do I.
Oh no. I hope it turns out to be nothing serious. Hopefully, the Christmas card is just stuck in the postal strike.
So do I, Melissa. The card could be, as you say, stuck in mail but when I can’t get hold of her via email or phone, it’s worrying. I’m scratching my head.
I thought the same thing about the card being stuck in the postal strike. It doesn’t sound like this is simply “drifting apart.” How frustrating your alternate contact information isn’t working.
Hoping for a speedy resolution that can put your mind at ease.
I’m hoping it’s because she’s moved again, for work, or whatever, and not anything more than that too, Elisabeth. Covid really did a number on us all, and I know she moved closer to her sister at the time. I’ll keep trying.
Oh I am so sorry.
Since I am so late in reading and replying I hope by now you have heard back.
I am the friend reaching out each year – often not hearing back. Every year I am contemplating taking someone of the list. The few times I decided to write one more year they replied saying it was such an important message/card they received after a year of struggle (miscarriage, depression, etc) and I am always glad I did reach out one more time.
My hope is that when I need some good vibes they come back to me.
So let’s hope this was a hiccup by the postal service, a longer illness of your friend or a misplaced address you have now provided again. Hope you let us know what was going on.
I still have not heard from my friend, but I am hopeful things are okay and that she’ll get in contact when she can. I stay positive and I keep trying. As, like you, I too like to reach out knowing sometimes that one email or postcard can make a big difference.
We never know what other problems people are dealing with, so it’s good to continue. And yes, I hope for the best, always.