The All-New iPhone A57

Would you buy this? It’s my very own design … no, really.

Note the retro 70s antenna for tuning into your fav retro 70s music channel first thing in the morning. And the easy to use rotary dial to stop you butt-dialing a number in the Australian outback. It even doubles as a pot plant when left on the bedside locker over night. And who doesn’t want those Everything, Everywhere, All At Once google eyes to look up everything, all at once, anywhere in the world … masterful, right?

I mean, what more could you want?

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