What I Learned visiting the US
I thought I would post something a little funny today. A few observations I made the last time I visited the US highlighting the differences between the UK and the US.
In America ...
• No one walks anywhere. • The don't speak English. • America is BIG. • There are guns. • The food comes in huge portions. • There are concealed guns. • They have a lot of police. • Everything is done BIG. • People carry guns in public. • The boot is a trunk, and the bonnet is the hood of a car. • They drive on the right because they had no knights in times of yore. • The bars are not pubs, they're clubs. • You had better like burgers. • They have walk-in closets. • Their fridges are the size of walk-in closets. • They use their microwave ovens for more than just reheating their coffee. • Public transport is optional. • There are no pavements. • Pavements are sidewalks, only New York has sidewalks. • They pre-chop and shovel their food with their forks. • They have 'Fanny' packs. • American's think 'Fanny' is their butt. • They’re an arse about their butt. • Light switches go in opposite direction. • People carry concealed weapons. • There are police cars everywhere. • Street signs are optional. • Telegraph poles are utilities poles. • ALL signage is attached to utilities poles. • There are a lot of utility poles. • The police swarm like gangs. • American beer all tastes the same. • Drink American wine, it's much better. • The have Malls not high streets. • In winter you roast inside the mall, in summer you freeze. • They have an over dependence on their AC. • Changing states is like visiting another planet. • TV is 22 minutes of adverts and 38 minutes of actual programme per hour. • Dogs and cats get better treatment than homeless people. • They get confused when you say you are from the UK. • Their money is all one colour. • They don't know how to spell. • Biscuits are cookies, pudding is dessert, crisps are chips, and chips are French fries. • They think a jumper is someone who throws themselves off a building. • They play rugby and call it football, but never kick the ball until after they've scored. • They play rounders and call it baseball. • They play netball and call it basketball. • They play soccer … the rest of the world plays football. • They have no idea what cricket is. • OAPs don’t move in to nursing homes, they all move to Florida. • They don't have parliament, they have congress. • And finally, don't bum a fag from a stranger … ever!
No wonder we have difficulty communicating!